As you leave your office and head down the main hallway, a laundry list of thoughts crosses your mind. The parent conference you just left, the teacher you need to see now, the district deadline that is quickly approaching, and the big basketball game tonight versus your rival. All of this consumes your mind and then you see a young man walking down the same hallway toward you. He looks to be on his way somewhere, he has a pass in his hand, and he is looking down. You have a decision to make – one that I think is so crucial for any adult on campus. Empowered to shape the culture and climate of your school at every moment, what decision will you make right now that reinforces what you believe is important?
Just over twenty years ago, I was finishing my first semester in grad school on my way to Principal certification. Sitting in a training with my cohort, I was introduced to the idea of 40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents. The Search Institute had sent team members to speak with us about these different assets and how they can influence the possible outcomes for young people in middle school or high school. And since those were the only levels I had taught, and thus likely to be the levels at which I served as a campus leader, I was definitely interested. As the speaker took us through research and findings, I remember hoping that he would offer some examples. He finally did and I can say that one example, in particular, has remained a hallmark of what I believe should happen every single day.
Now retired, I can recall making my way around campus each morning, afternoon, and evening, and I would see students in the hallway. Maybe they were returning from their locker, visiting their counselor, completing an errand, or merely running late. And what I realized was that often adults walk toward them, heads down, and pass them without saying a word. I mean, I understand, I guess, as we are busy. We have things to do. However, I am of the belief that when we choose (and it is a decision we make) to NOT speak to that young person, then we are missing a chance to acknowledge that they exist and that they matter. Sadly, for some, these same young people get that feedback (or lack thereof) every day at home, on the bus, in the car, and throughout the school. And when I chose not to greet them then I was just as guilty of not helping build assets within them.
So I changed my practices. I committed to making eye contact with each of them and saying “Good morning”, “How’s it going?”, or “Good afternoon.” It’s not an extensive conversation yet it is acknowledgment. To be honest, most merely smile and echo back the sentiment. Some don’t reply at all and I learned to roll with that. However I am of the firm belief that it matters, and the shy smiles that were offered in return were what made me certain. Thus it became a staple for me for nearly two decades as a campus leader.
So when you are cruising down the hallway tomorrow, with lots on your mind, don’t miss the opportunity to remind a young person that they are significant, that they are worth your time, and that you share this world with them. Perhaps you’ll become as well known as this young boy from England during the lockdown in 2020.
Later she contrasts excuses vs reasons and I found this compelling for educators. Too often I think we offer, or at least entertain, excuses because that is often the path of least resistance. It’s always easier to look for a culprit rather then to look for a path forward. The students she spoke with seemed to understand that stuff happens. And when you opt to ask questions then you can reflect. And when you commit to reflect you find a solution or a next step. It is the act of choosing – making a decision – that matters.
Each time I read this quote from Colin Powell, I find myself drawn to the idea of how a leader can hear many different ideas and narrow down the focus to a simple idea or two. I work hard on this trait as a campus leader myself – sometimes with a focus on a solution and other times only on finding common agreement.
I am drawn to the idea of Ambiguity being the same as inexactness. And the gray is where we often attribute the idea of being open to more than one interpretation. So much of what we do as leaders lies in the contrary. I understand the discomfort with not always knowing when so much is at stake. I get that it is hard and challenging, and you may not understand for a long time whether your choice was the best one. That small undefined area, that sliver of mystery, is where the strongest leaders have the chance to emerge. To thrive.
As a result of my PLN growing over the last several years, I have become convinced that investing in ourselves is paramount to growing stronger as leaders. If you are not pushing yourself to learn more – either through reading, writing, posting, or lurking – then you are robbing others of all you can offer. Don’t do that. Instead, get in the game.  Personal or professional learning is now available 24/7 from the comfort of your couch. Will it come in spurts? Will it ebb and flow? Might it be hard and confusing at times? Yeah, probably. The most important stuff usually is.
Accepting that JFK was right and our learning is critical toward our leadership, how can you commit to be active now?
While the prestige I had placed on him and his open question to the neighborhood was not just that – I still walked away thinking about those three words.
Christmas Day begins with the normal stockings and presents. And as the morning nears end, we prepare for lunch. However, with deliberate intent, there is no stress in preparation for this meal. Cold cuts, fresh rolls, chips and queso lead the way. Instead of a ham or turkey with tasty sides, we choose melted cheese rolling over perfectly salted tortilla chips; mayo on a fresh roll layered with salami, ham or roast beef. The prep time is minimal and we all appreciate that. Reminiscing, joking around, and warm smiles are the currency.
I love both of these traditions because of what they represent – namely that being together is what is being celebrated. You don’t need some fancy lunch/dinner that hits someone else’s expectations in order to enjoy the holiday season. Stress and angst as family members focus on a large meal is not where I want our energy. Rather all of that is traded for time being present with the person next to you. Appearances don’t matter – you don’t have to be cool or appropriate. Rather you are simply in the moment.
These two traditions remind me of the same approach I take when serving as a leader; namely that the experience is what matters, not the specific setting.  Each day, week, semester and school year, I work with others to create meaningful experiences for our students and our faculty/staff. I believe that the magic that happens between our students and adults on campus has little to do with the way our building may look, the manner in which we organize the tables and chairs, or the style with which I organize the main office. Rather its about the people – all day, every day. I adore the traditions with my family and I so appreciate the way my school focuses on the very same things.  
Which of your traditions best reflect you?
Exploring Leadership 